


Anna Karenina

by darknessonice



Series: I Understood Something [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Ballet, F/M, Romance, figure skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 20:32:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknessonice/pseuds/darknessonice
Summary: After their performances at the Cup of Russia 2017, Evgenia Medvedeva takes Yuzuru Hanyu to a ballet performance in Moscow.





	Anna Karenina

**Author's Note:**

> A thank you to all my readers. Merry Christmas & happy holidays <3

** Yuzuru’s POV **

The suit is black, sharp-looking and well-fitted. I had it tailored precisely to match the contours of my body. It's a standard outfit that's fitting for a formal occasion. The only unusual detail is the soft, yet sleek pink tie contrasting with the black and white. She gifted it to me, requesting that I would wear it tonight.

I had half a mind to say no to her. This wasn't a time to run amuck with friends. I needed time to gather myself and to reflect on my mistakes this evening. At the same time I couldn't find it in myself to decline her offer. It's only one night.

The black leather shoes complete my attire. In the mirror I stand and nitpick my appearance. I fidget with the tie, adjust my collar and sweep my hair a little more to the left until I am satisfied. Until I deem it perfect.

Then I knock on her door.

I hear some shuffling on the other side as I patiently stand there. When she finally opens it I understand why she asked me to wear this specific tie.

Her dress is pink.  The silky material hangs loosely on her shoulders. The fabric is bunched at her waist, accompanied by a belt of different colors. Her hair is tied back, yet it is different from her usual style. A silver necklace rests just above her chest.

"Evgenia." I clear my throat. "You look nice."

"Thank you." She blushes. "Let me grab my coat and then we can leave."

The thick white coat is elegant, draping seamlessly over her body. In her hand she holds a small purse that I don't imagine being able to carry much.

"Can I ask where we are going now?" I question.

"You can ask but I won't answer."

I try to keep my frustration hidden. When she approached me and asked if I'd like to do something, I agreed. I didn't say much when she asked me to wear a suit and tie. However I can't keep pretending that I am fine with everything. This is beyond risky, anyone could photograph us and...

"I know you're worried Yuzuru. You don't have to be. I have everything planned out." Out of her coat she pulls out two hats, one black and one white.

"I am impressed." I nestle the hat onto my head, letting it conceal most of my face.

"I wanted to get a Tokyo Ghoul mask but I didn't want to buy anything else since I didn't think you'd say yes to tonight."

The thought of her pulling such a mask out of that coat makes me laugh. "What makes you think that?"

"Well..." She pauses "I know you weren't happy with the results of this competition and I know you don't go out much so I assumed you'd decline."

"We are friends, Evegnia. We rarely see each other. I admit I wasn't planning on doing anything and at first I didn't want to. Now that I am standing here I know this is better than staying awake all night thinking about how I could have won."

"Then let's enjoy the night." She smiles.

Outside of the back entrance of the hotel awaits a taxi for us. Evgenia hands the woman a slip of paper and then sinks back into her seat. The city of Moscow is beautiful, the lights and colors shine brightly against the darkness. Late October meant that winter was descending quickly, each night here is colder than the last.

When the car slows my eyes are met with one of the most magnificent buildings. The Bolshoi theatre is the name she whispers to me.

"Opera?" I turn to her. It seemed like an odd choice.

"No." She shakes her head. "It's a ballet - Anna Karenina."

I hadn't seen many ballets in my life, nor did I know the story behind Anna Karenina. I only knew it was her free skate this season.

"Let's keep our heads down if we can." I request.

Once we are inside and taking our seats this is impossible. The inside of the theatre is grand, one of the most eye-catching places I have seen in a long time. It quickly fills to capacity.

"I forgot how huge ballet is in Russia." I lean over and whisper.

"You have no idea. I go here often, this is my third time seeing this performance."

"I imagine you're well versed on the story of Anna Karenina then." I jest. "Enlighten me."

"Perhaps you should wait and watch."

"I've watched your program. From what I gather there's romance and trains."

"It's so much more." She laughs. "Anna is playful, you can even say she's diverse. She can be straightforward and soft, she can flirt and suffer. I think she is what every woman is. For me she is a beauty standard on the inside and the outside. The story is full of love and tragedy. It deals with adultery and betrayal. It discusses society, compassion and forgiveness. The story is so complex, it's everything to me."

Her final word is met with the start of the ballet. I don't say anything, instead I smile to myself. That is the Evgenia so many, including myself, admire. I have never met someone so passionate and precise about what they feel.

The ballerinas move like water transformed by music, flowing in graceful arcs, their limbs in constant motion, painting a picture sound alone cannot achieve. I watch as the story of Anna Karenina unfolds before my eyes. With each swaying movement of their hips, with each alluring twist of their body, they tell a story.

Vronsky captures Anna's heart, although she cannot necessarily give it to him. She's trapped. The beauty of this ballet is that it's a wordless interpretation that no matter what language you can speak, you understand the story.

My eyes drift away from the stage and onto Zhenya. The light illuminates off her skin so perfectly. I allow myself to admit she looks beautiful, like an angel. I watch the emotions run across her face as the story evolves.

Anna didn't choose love, it befell on her. Perhaps she tried to keep herself from Vronsky, tried to pretend there was nothing there. She had a husband already at home. In the end she is shunned for her adultery, kept housebound. Anna feels great jealousy, for Vronsky is free to participate in society and she is not.

Eventually she goes mad. Anna begins to feel that he no longer loves her. Her life and mind crumbles beneath her before she throws herself under a train.

I don't have words when the curtains close, neither does she. When we are back outside the theatre we don our hats and I help fasten the coat over her pink dress.

"Well?" Her eyebrows raise.

"It was stunning. Also a reminder to never fall in love."

"It's not necessarily about that." She shakes her head. "How are we to live our lives when the illusions and denials that we hold dear are stripped away?"

"What's your answer, Evgenia? What are your illusions and denials?"

Her eyes meet mine but quickly dash away. "There's too many to name."

"You don't have to hide them from me, we are friends." I step closer to her.

"I know." She steps back. In the light for the first time I notice the skin color wrapping around her foot. I don't dare imagine why it's there.

"I'll tell you a denial of mine if you tell me one of yours." I offer. I'm not one for revealing how I feel. I don't like sharing my secrets or what I think. But I want to know more about her, I want to know everything there is about Evgenia Medvedeva. She's one of the most fascinating people I have ever met.

"A chance to know the inner thoughts of Yuzuru Hanyu? How could I refuse?" She giggles, her nose crinkling in the most adorable way.

"Fine... I'm in denial about love. I refuse to acknowledge it. It's not for me." I admit.

"I don't believe you."

"Not with the life I live, Zhenya. It's not in the cards for me. I'm not free to make that decision without millions having a say in who I should be with." She doesn't understand. Falling in love isn't an option for me. I don't seek it either.

"That's how you feel right now. I promise you will meet someone who will change your mind. You can try to push for feelings away and hide them but you will never be able to get rid of them. We are only human Yuzu, love is a part of who we are."

"How did love work out for Anna?” I scoff.

"You don't understand. Maybe in time."

"Alright, I don't want to talk about love anymore." My mind spirals at all the relationship rumors I have had over the years, the drama and the speculation. It only solidifies my point. "It's your turn."

"I'm in denial about what I feel. I try to ignore it, push it away and pretend like it doesn't exist."

"What are you talking about?" My heartbeat quickens.

Her eyes once more meet mine, this time they linger. I take the time to look at the brown specs that hold so much emotion.

"My foot." She glances away. "I am injured."

"Zhenya..."

"I know. But it's the Olympic season, Yuzu. I can't sit out, I have to fight. Maybe if I train less it will heal. I want it more than anything, I want the gold."

"We have that in common." As the words leave my lips she smiles.

"Alina is so strong."

"Nathan is too. He got the gold here." I whisper.

"You always get silver at your first Grand Prix. I wouldn't worry too much. Besides, I am rooting for you."

"Is that so? Is Evgenia Medvedeva's support the key to another Olympic gold?" I laugh.

"If you believe it is."

I didn't expect her to hug me, but when she does I welcome it. Her skin is cold yet soft to the touch. There's something about this hug that's more meaningful than the other one's we have shared. More intimate. After everything we've talked about tonight I know that I can never let her go. A friend like this means more than anything else.

"I need to get back home." She pulls away, her face flushed.

"Home? You're not going back to the hotel?"

"No. I'll see you tomorrow at the gala if we catch each other. If not, at NHK. Thank you for tonight."

"Zhenya." I run after her. "Why did you invite me here tonight?"

"I don't know I guess I... it's something I guess I am in denial about too."

I don't know what she means but I know I don't want her to leave. A few seconds longer is more than nothing.

"Thank you for tonight. I don't remember the last time I went out with a friend. I had a good time." I take her hand into mine, bending down slightly as I kiss it. "I've wanted to do that for a while now. It's in your program after all."

"Goodnight, Yuzuru." She swallows.

"Goodnight."

I watch Evgenia in her pink dress climb into a cab and disappear from my sight.

Instead of spending the whole night awake thinking about my silver medal, I think about her. I find myself pacing back and forth thinking about her injury. Somehow I know it's not just her own mind pushing her to keep skating.

I stare at the ceiling wishing she were here so I could tell her more of my secrets. I forgot how good it feels to confide in someone you trust.

As my eyes grow heavy I think about the story of Anna Karenina. I think about the beauty and tragedy of the story. I think about love.

_That's how you feel right now. I promise you will meet someone who will change your mind. You can try to push for feelings away and hide them but you will never be able to get rid of them. We are only human Yuzu, love is a part of who we are._

For a brief moment I consider her words. I allow myself to imagine a life where I can love whoever I want, where I can be happy. That night I dream of a girl who changes my mind. She is someone familiar, someone I already know. The only detail I catch is her pink dress.

When I wake up I push the notion of love away.

_It's not for me, it's not for me._

Yet I know deep down that Zhenya is right. I am human. And the day will come when I won't be able to push it all away. For now, I'll just keep pretending.

**Author's Note:**

> A special thanks to Carla for suggesting the use of the pink dress that Zhenya wore to the drawing for Russian Nationals. 
> 
> This one shot was just a little experiment for me. I actually used some of Zhenya's words from her interviews to describe how she felt about the story! I suppose this does indeed take place in the same "storyverse" as Closing the Distance (which will be updated within a day:)
> 
> I celebrate Christmas on January 7th, but I will be spending time with my family today. I hope everyone who is reading this is happy and warm. I send all my love, happy holidays.


End file.
